For Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Kory took the day off work and we went to our rec center to swim as a family. The kids have been wanting to go for a long time and I keep putting it off for a few reasons. 1st - I don't want to take four kids swimming by myself. I don't feel like I would be able to keep a close enough eye on them to be safe. 2nd - It is winter. I don't like being cold and often the rec center water is not very warm. 3rd. I hate getting into a bathing suit. I am not sure that any grown woman LOVES getting into her swim suit. It is not because I think I am super unattractive in a swim suit, I just don't like to show that much of my ultra white self. Well we went and we had a great time, but the reason I bring up swimming is because I worry that I may have said something about myself that day in front of my girls. I try really hard to not be too uncomfortable with my flaws in front of them because I want them to have a good self image of themselves.
Somehow this message has not hit home with Skylar. Maybe she is just getting old enough to have friends that talk more about these things. I am not sure what it is, but my BEAUTIFUL, SMART, TALENTED, LITTLE Girl thinks she is FAT! Yes FAT not PHAT. We were driving to dance yesterday and she said from the backseat that she shouldn't have worn her short shorts because her thighs are TOO FAT!
Have you met my daughter? Of all the things she is overweight is not one of them. Now if she was overweight that would not be a terrible thing, but she is only 30th percentile for weight and 70th percentile for height. In her pediatricians words "Tall and Skinny."
I tried to talk to her and tell her how NOT FAT she was, but this only upset her more and by the end of our conversation she was crying. I felt terrible. I don't want her to have such a negative self image of herself. Especially at only 8 years old.
Does anyone have any advice on how to help my 8 year old have a better self image?
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Wrong Message
Posted by Marnie at 2:49 PM
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4 comments:
How sad. :( Not sure I have any advise. We have the opposite issue in our house. It really is an issue I wish we could fix. When did starvation become attracitve??
This makes me want to cry. Our kids are so little to already be having body issues. I have the opposite problem with Sarah, but she for the most part has such a great attitude. That and I think she is going to be tall, and most of her issues will go away with puberty. I just try to make her aware of what she is eating because she can start eating and isn't paying attention to how much she has eaten. With Skylar, I have no idea. She is so skinny. Some of it must be playground talk, but wow that is scary.
I don't have any suggestions either. It sounds like you already know to be the example. If you find out anything please share it would be helpful.
Wow Marnie, that is something you probably didn't think you'd have to deal with for several more years right? There are so many negative messages out there for girls. That makes it super hard. I know several people who find the girls scouts to be a very empowering thing for girls because it's all about what girls can DO, not how they look. Sports are also really good. I really love dance, but it's something I worry about because there can be such a huge focus on physical appearance. Ballet especially seems to be a place where eating disorders are par for the course. What was your experience like growing up a dancer?
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